


Alright

by Corvid_Knight



Series: Post-canon Striders [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, everyone hates bro, he deserves it, mention of prior abuse, my tumblr is knight-of-heart-and-art, oh my god I love this fic, strider family drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 16:05:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12987579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corvid_Knight/pseuds/Corvid_Knight
Summary: Bro shows up again, but this time he's got an excuse. Dave's still not really okay with it.





	Alright

**Author's Note:**

> This is fine as a standalone, but it's a followup to [Splinter.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12874821)

Your name is Dave Strider, and you're in some kind of goddamn predicament. A fucking situation. A pickle, you might say. Predicklement—okay, when you start coming up with words like that it's really time to stop hanging around Jake, plain and simple.

That's right, blame it on Jake and not your own stupid anxiety over being in the same room as Bro. It's cool, you're cool, you're fucking _fine_. Definitely not holding yourself as tense as is humanly possible just so you don't flinch every time he moves. You're doing fine. This is fine. 

He hasn't done anything wrong right now, after all. Yeah, he's not supposed to be here, Dirk chased him off once already, but Bro showed up twenty minutes ago with Dirk's bro—the version of you from his timeline—and it was a coincidence that you happened to be over at Dirk's place when they showed. A coincidence. 

(Never mind that this is the one day out of the last two months that you ended up at Dirk's apartment, instead of him coming to hang with you and Karkat. Never mind that he showed right after you got here. Bro _didn't_ plan this. It's a goddamn _coincidence._ ) 

Coincidence or no, Dirk and his bro—the guy said to call him D when he came in, grinned and nodded at Bro and said something about less chance for confusion but you weren't totally listening—Dirk and D moved into the main room a couple minutes ago and you've been left in the kitchen with Bro. And Hal. You keep forgetting about Hal because he's doing that thing where he sits still enough that he's somehow inconspicuous (despite being perched cross-legged on the counter) and just watches behind those familiar pointy shades. 

Actually, Hal is both a contributing factor to your state of anxiety and the only reason you're as calm as you are right now. You trust him, but god damn do you wish he'd move. Like, at all. 

Even though he's literally sitting two feet from you, you decide to text him. Mostly because you feel like speaking is going to invite Bro to do something other than just stand there looking...well, looking like he can't be bothered to take any notice of you or anything other than his phone. 

TG: okay hal i love you but its time to quit doing an impression of a fucking statue unless you want me to see if you keep it up when i smack you

You can't see the notification pop up on his shades, but as soon as you send the message Hal looks over at you, nods slightly, and uncoils himself to sit on the counter more like a normal person and less like some weird yogi. 

That movement's enough to attract Bro's attention. (You don't know what else you expected.) He just stares at Hal for a minute, though, and you actually start to hope he's not going to start shit. Then he nods at the T-shirt Hal's got on—a gift from Roxy, you're pretty sure; it's striped pink, yellow, and blue, with jagged black letters that spell out " _Pansexual And Fabulous_ " across his chest. "So, what? You wanna date cookware?" 

You actually want to die a little right now. You _know_ Bro, he's got a strategy here and it's going to end up with him getting Hal wound up enough to walk out of the room and leaving the two of you alone—

But Hal just grins. "Well, I'm not attracted to pans," he says, sliding a few inches to the left and causally holding out one hand towards the stove. You can hear the faint hum as he activates the electromagnets in his palm, and Bro must hear it too because he flash-steps out of the way a second before the frying pan Dirk's left on the stovetop first rattles, then flies up to smack into Hal's hand with a satisfying clang. "They're attracted to me under the right conditions, though, so..." 

Before you think about what the fuck you're doing, you laugh, and almost immediately choke it back as Bro looks over at you. _Fuck._ Before he can say or do anything, though, two things happen. 

One, you hear Dirk from the other room— "Yo, Dave, c'mere for a sec?" 

Two, a text notification from Hal comes up in the corner of your shades. As you turn to head into the other room and open the notif, Hal says smoothly, "So you're from the version of Houston that wasn't destroyed and underwater, right? I don't have as much data as I'd like about it—" 

Hal's message is short and simple, and you finish reading before you reach the door. 

AI: I'm going to just give you an out here, since you're obviously not going to walk out on your own before you have a panic attack. I don't mind keeping this douchebag busy. 

Holy fuck you owe Hal big time. 

Dirk and D are both sitting on the floor by the coffee table. D's going through what looks like a box of loose photos, a goofy-ass grin on his face, and Dirk's tapping his fingers against the floor, with the familiar abstracted look that means he's reading messages off his shades. D turns that grin on you as you walk in, holding up a fan of pics. Pics of your kids, mostly, and the fact that Dirk's got that many photos of them on hand almost overrides the shitty half of your emotions for a second. 

"They're so fucking _cute,_ " D says as you come to sit down and snag a random handful of pics off his lap. "Like holy fuck, I don't know if it's just the whole alternate-selves shit acting up, like I just have the same tastes you do, but these guys? Amazing. Perfection. And your guy, the alien, Karkat, if you haven't put his picture in the dictionary next to 'hot as hell' yet I'm not sure what you think you're doing." 

"Believe me, I'd do that in a heartbeat if he wouldn't murder me for it." Okay, looking at the pics of your family _definitely_ works as a calming measure. And the ones of Dirk looking like an idiot help too, honestly. "So Dirk filled you in on everything?" 

D nods, but it's Dirk that actually answers. "He didn't really need all that much filling in. Bro actually did an okay job of something for once." He pushes his shades up to rest on top of his hair, giving you a somewhat-guilty smile. "Hal just got done chewing me out for leaving you in there with him. You alright?" 

Damn, it's that obvious? You can't help but glance over at D, who's still leafing through photos, before you answer. "Fine. I'm fine. Of course I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be alright?" Yeah, that's defensive enough that they _totally_ won't question it. Great job at staying cool, Dave. 

Dirk just blinks. 

"Because he's an asshole, maybe?" D doesn't look up, but he does pass you a couple more pics of Karkat and the kids. "I mean, I spent a week with him and I can tell he's not fucking right, if he raised you I can totally see how you might have. Issues." 

Despite the pause, he manages to keep his tone surprisingly casual. If it was anybody but you listening, that tiny edge of anger might not be noticeable. 

So D knows about how Bro is, to some extent. From him, not from you or Dirk, even if your mind immediately points out that Bro would definitely blame you if he found out that D knew. 

"Anyway," D says, looking up from the photos spread across his lap and offering you a quick, reassuring smile, "I'm just gonna ask again, just in case I might get a different answer than lil' bro here—you sure you're alright?" 

Dirk huffs when D calls him lil' bro, but he sits back on his heels and waits for you to answer instead of contesting it. And this time you do actually think before you answer, even if you come up with a variant on the same response. 

"I, uh...yeah. I'm okay." Little shaken up. Nothing happened, though, he didn't say a word to you, didn't fucking look at you for more than sixty seconds total, you don't have a fucking _reason_ to not be okay. "Just as long as I don't gotta be in the same room with him again, I'm fine." 

Dirk just barely smiles. "Hal's working on getting rid of him. I give him five minutes before he snaps, and that's a generous estimate." 

Bro snapping is really fucking high on the list of things you don't want to be anywhere near, though. You open your mouth to tell Dirk as much, and snap it shut hard enough to hurt your jaw as the door to the hall slams. "Fuck—" 

It's a good thing you don't carry your sword everywhere anymore. You're halfway through the flinch and your hands are trying to close around a hilt that isn't there when D touches your shoulder, and if you had a weapon you would've fucking hurt him. As it is, you balance between hitting him and _not_ hitting him for a second and a half, manage to choose the latter, and try really hard not to just curl up in a fucking ball. 

"Holy shit," D mutters, and Dirk reaches over to pull his hand off you as Hal comes in. 

At least Hal looks pleased with himself. "Yeah, he's just a little easier to get mad than you," he says as he sits down on the coffee table, tossing the frying pan from hand to hand. "Then again, I don't think he realized what I was doing, so that might have had something to do with it." He cocks his head, frowns, and adds, "Kind of looks like I should've wound him up a little less, though. Sorry, Dave." 

"I'm _fine._ " He's gone, so you really are. Or will be. Same difference. 

Dirk slides his shades down and starts tapping his fingers again. "I'll make sure he gets that we're still not all that interested in him, don't worry..." 

You could point out that you're not worried, not even a little bit, you're totally fine. Or... "Thanks, man." And you pull the box of pics over and start digging out the very best ones, the stupidest, most adorable ones of Dirk that're always at the bottom, and handing them to D for inspection. 

By the time Dirk figures out what's happening D's almost in tears from trying not to laugh at them, and Hal's leaned over almost enough to be worrying, grinning down in obvious approval. 

God, you love these guys. Holy fucking shit.

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  ~~this may or may not have originally been an excuse to use the pan pun please forgive me~~  
>  This is now continued in [Closure.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13210203)


End file.
